January 18, 2010

Dear friends and family,

 

Susie would  be 49 on January 18th, 2010, had she stayed on this earth plane. Yet, wherever her spirit is, I am sure she is very joyful and happy. Susie really taught me and others our bodies are just an outfit we wear, until its time to change, and then we need no outfit. When our bodies tire and get sick, she'd say dying must be like taking off a shoe that's too tight and has been worn for too long. The relief, comfort and joy. How much more exciting than taking off a shoe, to experience the unknown infinitude and unfettered wonder that lies ahead. It's natural to say some of these things when those we love die, but after several years, as we adjust to them being gone from our physical life, and missing them so much.

I think people come to different conclusions about death.  My conclusions resulted from mourning Susie like no other. It was shattering and I had to face the stark reality and finality of death, not just some hopeful beliefs I had about it. I now know in my heart that she still exists, although I don't know what her "beingness" is like. During mourning, I went from belief to doubt to finally a knowing and certainty in my heart. I cannot fathom it, but I don't care.  Its enough for me to trust that she lives on, in the care of those she loves and in the presence of God whom she believed in and "knew in her heart". 

To celebrate Susie, I sang at church last night, "The Lord's Prayer", and she felt so near. I was worried about hitting the "highest note", and not sounding like a screech owl. Well, I just felt this physical "boost", and then ecstasy, and felt as though I was flying on a cloud. I hit the note, and sailed through it, it was much better than I have ever sung before. I do believe she gave me that boost, you all know she loved to sing, I felt we were singing together.

The memories of Susie and times with friends and family I treasure, as I am sure you do, if you are reading this. It's a time to remember her, celebrate her and relive all the joy, love and fun she created. Today, I bet she might say to us, "Live, live, live....no fear....live full out, no stops, live with pizzazz, live till you die."  Then, live again.

Please share any memories or pictures of Susie you want in the comment section, and also what's going on in your life. Susie hoped her website would keep her "communities" of loved ones connected. So, whatever you feel like sharing, that would be great.

Love to all of you, Deb and Jack.

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